Caregiving is filled with moments of joy, frustration, love, and uncertainty. Among all the skills and values we strive to instill in our children, emotional intelligence (EQ) often stands out. It equips kids with the tools to build healthy relationships, make thoughtful decisions, and handle the ups and downs that life inevitably brings.
But, how do we do this? How do we raise emotionally intelligent children in a world that often seems to prioritize other things? As a service dedicated to supporting families, we’re here to help you navigate these questions.
First things first, we need to get comfortable with emotions ourselves. EQ starts with recognizing and understanding feelings—both our own and our children’s. We’ve all had moments of unintentionally minimizing our kids' emotions, especially when we’re busy or stressed. But taking a moment to acknowledge their feelings can make a huge difference.
When your child is upset, instead of saying, “Don’t cry,” try, “I see you’re really sad about this.” This shows them that their feelings are valid and important. Help them name their feelings, too. You might say, “You seem frustrated because your tower fell down. It’s okay to feel that way.” By giving them the language to express their emotions, you’re helping them understand and articulate what they’re going through.
Our children learn by watching us. They pick up on how we handle our emotions, how we react to stress, and how we treat others. If you’re having a tough day, it’s okay to let your child know. Say something like, “I’m feeling a bit sad right now, but I’m working through it.” This normalizes emotional expression and shows them that it’s okay to have difficult feelings.
Show them how to calm down when you’re upset—whether it’s by taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or talking it out. These actions provide practical strategies that your child can mimic when they’re facing their own challenges.
Empathy is at the core of what we do at Helpr—it is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and it’s a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Encourage your child to think about how others might be feeling. Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?”
When your child shows empathy, acknowledge it. Say something like, “That was kind of you to share your toy. You made your friend very happy.” These moments reinforce the importance of empathy and help your child understand the impact of their actions on others.
Children need to feel safe expressing their emotions without fear of judgment or punishment. Let them know that all feelings are valid by saying, “It’s okay to feel angry, just like it’s okay to feel happy.” Provide healthy outlets for their emotions, such as drawing, writing, or playing music. These activities can help them express and process their feelings in constructive ways.
HELPR PRO TIP: When your child is upset, try to listen without immediately jumping to solutions. Sometimes, they just need to be heard and understood.
Helping children develop problem-solving skills is crucial for emotional intelligence. Instead of solving problems for them, guide them through the process.When they face a challenge, ask, “What do you think we can do to fix this?” Discuss the possible outcomes of different actions with them by saying, “If we do this, what do you think might happen?”
This approach helps them think critically and understand the consequences of their actions. It also empowers them to take ownership of their decisions and learn from their experiences.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach for raising emotionally intelligent children. It’s about being present, showing empathy, and nurturing their emotional world. By fostering emotional intelligence, you’re equipping your child to become a kind, resilient, and self-aware individual.
In closing, we want to kindly remind you that the responsibility doesn’t solely lie on your shoulders; after all, it takes a village. Don’t be afraid to call for backup when you need childcare help. Use your benefits on the Helpr app to book care when you need it most.