Being a caregiver is hard—really hard. There’s no sugarcoating it. You may be trying to balance work and personal responsibilities while also taking care of someone who depends on you. At times, it can be lonely. In fact, we hear this often from the families we care for at Helpr.
Admitting that caregiving can be isolating doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you’re caring for more than anything in the world—it simply means you’re human. Having a support system isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s essential. Here are some ways you can start growing yours.
Overcome Guilt and Shame
Asking for help can bring up intense emotions like guilt and shame. Guilt often arises when you worry about burdening others or feel like you’re taking something away from the person you’re caring for. Thoughts like “I feel bad hiring a babysitter; it’s taking away parent-child time,” or “My friend already has enough on her plate—she shouldn’t have to care for my Dad” are common examples.
Shame digs even deeper, making you question your worth. It’s not just about feeling you’ve done something wrong; it’s the belief that something is inherently wrong with you. You might think, “I’m a terrible mother for not spending enough time with my child,” or “I’m a burden to everyone around me.” These thoughts can be incredibly isolating.
Overcoming guilt and shame starts with recognizing that they’re normal and common among caregivers. Try to challenge them by reminding yourself that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad person or a failure. Everyone needs support. By reframing your perspective, you can start to see that accepting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Lean on Your Inner Circle
Even though we live in an individualist society, the truth is that humans have relied on community-based care for centuries—hence the saying “It takes a village.”
Start by reaching out to those you trust—family members, friends, or neighbors. Be honest about your situation and clear about how they can help. Instead of a vague request like, “I could use some help,” try being specific: “Could you spend an hour with Mom this Saturday so I can run errands?” or “I have a shift on Thursday, and Daisy has the day off from school. Could you watch her so I don’t have to take time off work?”
One of the great things about Helpr is that you can use your benefits to pay family and friends for the care they provide. This not only helps alleviate any guilt but also acknowledges the value of their support.
Explore Professional Services
Not everyone has a family member or friend nearby who can help with caregiving, and that’s perfectly okay. You can still find people close by who can assist in person, which might mean looking into professional services.
Having access to on-call babysitters can make all the difference between getting to work on time and needing to take the day off. Similarly, a regular nanny to pick up your child from school or an afterschool program can give you the breathing room to finish your workday without rushing. The same goes for adult care—there are day programs and in-home aids who can step in.
We 1000% understand professional care is costly and out of reach for many. We encourage you to use the Helpr app to book subsidized care. Your company pays the majority of the care costs, and you’re left with a small hourly copay. Our goal is to make care affordable and accessible—no matter your job position or location.
Want to learn more about the specific care benefits available to you?
Ask for Help at Work
We’re often taught to hide our vulnerabilities at work, making it feel daunting to ask for help in a professional setting. But the truth is, nine times out of ten employers prefer that you approach them with your concerns and work together on a solution rather than stay silent and let your work suffer.
Start by identifying the right person to approach—this could be your manager, HR representative, or a trusted colleague. When you initiate the conversation, focus on how your caregiving duties are impacting your work and explain what kind of support would help you perform better. You might suggest care benefits, flexible working hours, remote work options, or additional resources to manage your workload.
You’re Not Alone
Caregiving comes with its challenges, but you don’t have to overcome them alone. At Helpr, we’re here to remind you that you deserve support just as much as the person you’re caring for. Whether it’s leaning on family and friends, seeking out professional services, or having a tough conversation at work, it’s important to let others step in and help. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human. So take a breath and reach out when you’re ready.
